Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this stuck in the house spouse?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I have been married three years, this is my second marriage and his first. Even though we met at a bar and I was a little tipsy, I fell for him right away. But, the man I married is not the person I fell in love with. After our wedding, he demanded that I take his last name. I am proud of my last name, and I didn't want to drop it. (If only that were the sole problem.) I am no longer allowed to go out to lunch with my friends or even to see my family unless it's on one particular day. My family means a lot to me and my friends do too. I don't like being controlled. I have tried talking to him about it, but he blames everything on me. He is old-fashioned, so all my time "needs" to be here at home. I have children outside of this marriage, and my husband insists he comes first, no matter what. I do not feel that way. My children always come before anyone. How do I fix this? If I can't resolve it, it means a DIVORCE. I don't want that, but my children and my family matter, and I don't believe a couple must spend every second together. Please give me your advice. -- CONTROLLED IN TENNESSEE

DEAR CONTROLLED IN TENNESSEE: Sounds like you two hayseeds didn’t plan the after-marriage part of your lives like last names and what his idea of what a good little wife is. Not sure what “I have children outside of this marriage” means, it sounds to me like maybe you were cheating on your ex with “the person you fell in love with,” aka your new husband. His so-called demands might seem controlling, but he’s probably just making sure that “lunch with friends” or “seeing your family” is not code for spreading your legs around town looking for a new husband who will let you keep your last name and do whatever you like. I guess you need to ask yourself how many times you can play the role of the other women before you end up being just another sagging, nagging, gash-slinging barfly seeking any good time Charlie who can stay sober long enough for a second date. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram, Reddit, Substack and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com