Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give to this Fairy Young Mother!

DEAR MIKE CARES: I am a 28-year-old mother of one lovely child. After a long and costly divorce, now broke but happy, I find myself in love with a wonderful man -- my Prince Charming. We both fantasize about getting married in a beautiful church wedding with ushers, bridesmaids, organ music, etc., but as a divorced Catholic, can this be a reality? If so, what are the steps we must take to make it happen? If not, what are my options? Please help my dream come true. -- Cinderella Hopeful in Arkansas.

DEAR CINDERELLA HOPEFUL IN ARKANSAS: Obviously your long and costly divorce did not dampen your fairy tale fantasy of thinking this next hump is your Prince Charming.  Between dealing with your ex-husband and having to play daddy to your “lovely child” for the next 18 years the only thing he will end up using that glass slipper for is smoking meth while hiding out behind your double-wide trailer. As to the Catholic church, if you pay the fee and look the other way while Father Fingerfucker loosens up the altar boys with Sacramental Wine your wedding dreams may come true. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com