Dear Mike Cares, How would You answer this Dear Abby?

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married nine years and have four children, ages 5, 3, 2 and 9 months. For the past three years, my husband has been attending a weeklong music festival where he camps with a group of friends, many of whom are single. He met most of them attending this particular fest.

When they are at these shows, they partake in psychedelics and other party drugs. The arena is wild, with scantily clad women and people partying to the fullest. I have explained to him how this bothers me and that I don’t believe it’s the best environment for a married man and father of four small children. I feel it threatens our marriage. He says I can “come if I want,” but that I’d need to find child care for the week (an option we don’t have since losing our parents).

In truth, I feel like a burden to him, and he prefers going solo to “get a release” from the everyday responsibilities of our life together. Each year, I ask him not to go, but he does it anyway. I’d greatly appreciate your insight about this.

— Left Behind in real life?

DEAR LEFT BEHIND IN REAL LIFE: First of all, you are not “left behind” since your husband has asked you to join in, probably several times. Trying to convert his happiness into your unhappiness is the only real threat to your marriage, that and the fact that you are a self-centered, guilt trip slinging manipulator. Also, your opinion of what is “the best environment” for a “married man and father of four small children” is not at all relevant, especially, since 51 weeks out of each year is spent in the environment of your home and life as “a married man with four small children.” In fact, the best environment for this man is probably thousands of miles away from you, your mouth and attitude.

Here is an idea, why don’t you stop busting his balls and let him take his 1 week to be happy, especially, as I suspect, the other 51 weeks he is stuck with you trying to control his every move and thought. If I were him I would attend as many music festivals as possible. Remember, the music he hears makes him happy, your voice he fears and makes him sad.

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