Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this dick-slinging cradle robber?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I'm a man who has worked for a large company for many years. I recently became acquainted with a newly hired woman who is beautiful, smart, funny and compassionate. We talk almost daily, and I'm becoming romantically interested in her. From her behavior, she may feel similarly. I'd like to take things to the next level by inviting her to lunch. There is one major issue: I'm in my early 70s; she's in her early 20s. I'm not sure if she's aware of the large age difference, but I'm sure she realizes I'm considerably older. If we do decide to pursue a relationship, I know there will be comments and jokes from our co-workers, which I can deal with, but is a relationship wise considering our age difference? I have never been interested in a woman this young before. She is special to me. People say age is just a number. Is it? -- OLD ROMANTIC FOOL

DEAR OLD ROMANTIC FOOL:  If this twenty something babe has any interest in you at all it is definitely wise to grab her and hold on to her like the very walker she will be pushing you on after a few years. You need to take her to lunch ply her with booze and let her know you have a cock like a rhino and an endless bank account, she’ll be hooked on you faster than she can text IRL, YOLO, IDK, and TTYL. As to the guys at work, well, they'll be out of their minds with jealousy and the women will think you are just a dirty old cradle robber. But, at the end of the day having a twenty something girl in your life will be worth it. The fact that you will have no idea what she is talking about, referring to, or understands won’t matter one iota when you compare it to the happiness you will feel while banging the bejesus out of that hard body until your dick falls off or you heart gives out. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com