Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of cock yearning rug muncher

DEAR ABBY: I'm a lesbian. My wife and I have been married for nine years, but since COVID and my mother's death, we have had problems. I met a man online; he's an actor. We grew close via the internet. When my wife found out, we fought, and this man and I haven't been as close. Although we mended our relationship and I love her, I seem to always wonder. About a year ago, I got hit on by another actor on Instagram, and we also grew close until my wife found out. I stopped, but I still maintain contact with these men, and I'm not sure why. I wonder if I'm happy with my wife or if it would be better with someone else. I wonder if I'm staying with her for love or for comfort. I'm not sure. I keep questioning my identity and my life. Any advice? -- LACKING CERTAINTY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LACKING CERTAINTY IN CALIFORNIA: So, is your sexual identity the real issue or are you just using the man/woman confusion to underscore your sheer boredom in your current lesbo marriage? Obviously, you are seeking something better, and you don’t care if it wears a dress, a jockstrap or a strap-on. Bisexuality should be your new identity, it will double your chances of happiness, I say stick to the actors, because they can be whatever you want them to be. As to your wife, nine years is a good run, just move on, you clearly need to switch from an all-fish diet to a beef and fish diet. Also, you will save a fortune by not having to buy all that Chapstick. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com