Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the 31 states

DEAR ABBY: After 17 years of marriage, I learned, to my dismay, that when he was 22, my husband had a long-term relationship with a 16-year-old. He insisted that she had lied about her age and told him she was 20. But even after finding out her true age, he went back to her. Her mother was OK with it, as well as other family members who all knew she was underage. It makes me sick to my stomach. They engaged in sexual activity when she was underage. They were even engaged until she allegedly cheated. I'm livid because he tried to say he told me she was underage, but he never did. I would never have dated or married someone who knowingly had sex with an underaged individual. I've been questioning a lot about this marriage, but this sent me over the top. Am I overreacting because he "was young and dumb" and "did something stupid and never did it again," as he puts it? -- CAN'T GET OVER IT

DEAR CAN’T GET OVER IT:  You are clearly a mentally unstable nut-job to let such a stupid thing bother you after 17 years of marriage.  Did you know there are 31 states where the age of consent is 16?  You act like he is some sort of pedophile.  Your stupidity on this subject sends me “over the top,” and makes me “sick to my stomach!”  If I were your husband, I would get in my car and drive in any direction to start a new life without you. Actually, I would drive to one of those 31 states!!! Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com