Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the dog hating house-husband

DEAR ABBY: Ever since we first began dating, I told my wife I never wanted to own a dog. She seemed to be OK with it, but over the last 10 years, she has put intense pressure on me to get one. She now says she "doesn't remember" our original conversation and says she never would have agreed to it. She works, and I stay at home with the kids, so it would be my responsibility to take care of the pet, which I refuse to do. I feel physically sick around dogs, but because I don't actively sneeze around them, she thinks I'm making up my sensitivity. She is now rallying the kids against me. We live a transient lifestyle that would force us to kennel the dog for one to three months a year, which would cost money we don't have. I'm tired of this conversation, and tired of feeling like I'm "ruining her life." What should I do? -- DOGLESS IN OKLAHOMA

DEAR DOGLESS IN OKLAHOMA: Get the dog, and then each morning drag the unwanted mongrel to your wife’s office, tie it to a desk with a note around it’s neck that reads: “Feed Me, Water me, Play with Me, Walk me, Groom Me, Take me to the Vet, Put me in a Kennel with strange dogs for months at a time.” Or remove your testicles from her purse, re-attach them under your small penis get on with your life as a pussy-whipped house-husband.

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