Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the facebook fucker

DEAR ABBY: Out of nowhere, my husband announced he thinks we should unfriend each other on Facebook. I got upset and told him it would make me feel insecure about us, because I think there is no reason for it. I find it very suspicious, and if there is a reason, I think we should split up. He unfriended me anyway. He called me closed-minded and said I value Facebook over our marriage. Is he right? -- SOCIAL MEDIA-MINDED IN GEORGIA

DEAR SOCIAL MEDIA-MINDED IN GEORGIA: Your relationship is completely whacked if Facebook is dictating your marital status. I’d love to know the real inside scoop on your Re-Fucking-Tarded marriage, does your husband wear a Zuckerberg mask to bed when he “friends your brains out” after a few too many digital cocktails? I did a search for ‘Nut-Job Wives Who Need Mental Intervention’ groups on Facebook, there are many to choose from, just don’t write to me when their members unfriend you too.

Good Luck and Keep in Touch With Yourself! Dear Mike Cares is also on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com