Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the future divorce

DEAR ABBY: My best friend is getting married next year and is planning for her bachelorette party. Right now, they are looking at places that have a three- or four-night minimum and would cost each person more than $500. (That's just to rent the place.) It wouldn't cover food, gifts, etc. My friend isn't a fancy, extravagant person, so I was shocked by the length of time I'll need to take off from work and the amount of money I will have to spend. I worry if I try to (nicely) say something, it will come across as not caring about her, her wedding or doing this for her. It's not that I can't afford it, and I think I should have some time off available, but it's going to cost more than I'm comfortable with. Am I being unreasonable? I wouldn't want to not make her feel special. -- SOUR ON IT IN INDIANA

DEAR SOUR ON IT IN INDIANA: Sounds like your best friend has a bad case of Marriage Fog, a syndrome that affects most young girls’ brains that creates a self-centered creature that roams the suburbs making budget-free plans that leave everyone in their path hating them. They become uninterested in anyone else’s time, income, or availability as it pertains to satisfying their Foggy Barbie Brained clit-wit wedding fantasies that generally just end up being a big party replete with puke, fistfights, credit card debt and a honeymoon argument that will hang over their marriage for the first three years, the fourth ending in divorce. As a best friend, just RSVP “no thanks, I don’t like you that much, plus your fiancée hits on anything with a vagina and a pulse.” Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com