Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the nosy office hag

DEAR ABBY: A guy at work, "Leon," is my age, very friendly and down-to-earth. When we've worked together, we have had great conversations, and he has told me a lot about his girlfriend who he's been with for years. I feel guilty knowing this because Leon is having an affair with a girl here at work who's almost a decade his junior, and they've started getting very brazen about it. He tells people he's tempted by her but would not cross the line. The girl, however, tells very different, detailed and personal stories about their rendezvous. I'm not friends with Leon on Facebook, but I looked at his profile to read a tribute to his recently lost friend and saw his girlfriend's name, and I'm tempted to reach out.

This woman doesn't know me, but I know that at my age, if my boyfriend of three years was messing around at work and everybody knew but me, I'd be livid at them almost as much as I would be at him. As someone who has been cheated on before, I feel I have a duty to his girlfriend because I wouldn't want to waste another second in the dark or with a cheater.

Then again, since Leon and his plaything aren't subtle, do you think I should approach him instead and ask if he's still with his girlfriend or if she knows about the mistress? I've always thought honesty was the best policy and straightforwardness got the most honest answers. Any advice would be much appreciated. -- WITNESS IN VIRGINIA

DEAR WITNESS IN VIRGINIA: Oh, you like honesty? Here is some: mind your own fucking business, and since you are clearly without a boyfriend or husband “at your age,” you might want to focus on that rather than Leon and his office cock-slinging shenanigans with the slut of the week. Your boyfriend cheated on you?..he probably got fed up with your dime-dropping, snitch-bitching, facebook-stalking self-imposed duty to stick your fat nose in everyone’s business. Why don’t you stick your fat nose in a self-help book, before it’s too late to become a polite, co-worker with your own life to focus on. You also might think about changing your disposition for the mere sake of that dried-up lap flounder that hasn’t had anything but a COSTCO magic wand caressing it since Obama was in office.

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