Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the remorseful trailer trash

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Dan," and I separated for four months. We have now reunited. However, his son "Ryan" told me he never wants to see me again. I wrote him a letter, expressed my remorse and invited him to visit, but have received no response. Ryan shuns me now. My husband is going to invite him to visit, but I don't know how I will deal with it. I do not want to be his hostess. What should I do? -- BACK TOGETHER IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR BACK TOGETHER IN WEST VIRGINIA: We don’t know why you separated in the first place, but you wrote to Ryan to express remorse, so clearly you did something very bad. The red flag in your letter “I do not want to be his hostess,” sheds light on the Remorse vs. fuck Ryan battle that is going on in that fried brain of yours. Since you live in West Virginia I am going to assume booze, cheating, and meth were involved, but the bottom line is quite clear, you aint wantin no damn Ryan crampin your single-wide trailer home style while you be cookin up some Walmart franks and mac n cheese for big daddy while playing the role of the reformed wife. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com