Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Fucktard's question? *case of the tail wagging the wife

DEAR MIKE CARES: My husband and I have been together almost 20 years. I used to be happy in our relationship, but over the last year or two, he has changed. He gives me no physical affection and constantly showers love on his new dog. When I ask for more affection, he accuses me of being jealous of the dog. I'm not! I love the dog, too. I'm just sick of asking for more from him and not getting it.

I used to feel hurt. Now I feel like maybe I should end our marriage. His lack of affection or compliments has turned me cold to him. What should I do? -- CRAVING HUMAN AFFECTION

DEAR CRAVING HUMAN AFFECTION: You know men are almost as simple as dogs, all you really have to make a man’s tail wag is to feed them and fuck them on a regular basis, and maybe don’t bother them with stupid female questions.  As a man I am thinking maybe the dog was brought in to replace the quality of affection you were showing him, and that now that he is fulfilled with his new dog-wife there are two tails wagging in the house, it’s likely he won’t notice nor care if you end the marriage.  Just don’t try and get the dog in the divorce. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com