Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this question?

DEAR ABBY: I have been in love with a man for 34 years. I was married to him once, then divorced him because of drugs. I have been remarried for eight years now, to a wonderful man who is good to me, but aloof to my needs or desires. I am not in love with him. When we talked early in the marriage about my needs, he got sullen and said he would "try." That lasted a very short time. He is focused only on his wants and needs.

Three years ago, my ex lost his mother. I contacted his brother to offer sympathy, and then my ex contacted me. We have talked and cried together. He has apologized and asked for forgiveness. He then told me he has never stopped loving me. We have met a couple of times since, and I'm having a hard time deciding what to do.

My home is more like a small office than a home. We have a business, a ministry, and I have a full-time job. I can't just pack up and leave, but in my heart I want to go back to my ex. He has been clean for three years, free from the drug-related health problems and is not going to return to that life. What do I do? -- TORN IN LOVE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TORN IN LOVE IN THE SOUTH: You entered your new marriage while still in love with your ex-husband, you presented your new husband with a list of your needs probably never asking about his, and now eight years in you don’t love your new husband and have been banging your ex-husband. Since you are a liar, a cheater and a marital abuser, perhaps you should spend more time in your own Ministry spending the proceeds of your patronage helping others in need and spreading the word of god, rather than spending the proceeds on motel rooms and spreading the word of sin. If you follow your heart your current husband will get all the money and your ex-husband will get you, which, of course, will be so stressful he will be back on the drugs just to ease the pain of listening to your needs and wants, which will lead to you seeking husband number three. Rinse, repeat.

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