Dear Mike Cares what advice would you give Mr. Can't Pleasure?

DEAR MIKE CARES: After 10 years of being with my wife, including eight years of marriage, I accidentally discovered she was having affairs online. She put me through weeks of lies, denial, minimizing and obfuscating before finally giving me full disclosure. At this point, I'll never know if I can believe her after her seven years of off-and-on cheating with one main partner and two others. Even if I were to believe she's remorseful and has changed, it's hard to live with what's already happened.  It's been 15 months. I can't get past the pain of the betrayal and the feeling that she didn't love or respect me for most of our relationship. In addition, there are images I can't get out of my head. I want to leave, but finances and young children make it complicated. Also, my wife will cry, get dramatic and make me feel bad, telling me she will just go to a homeless shelter. I don't know if she's purposely trying to make me feel guilty or what. Please help. -- LIVING IN PAIN IN OREGON

DEAR LIVING IN PAIN IN OREGON: Obviously you can’t seem to please your whore wife so she is going elsewhere to seek the pleasure she thought you could provide. Whether it’s your child sized cock, or your bedroom skills can’t wake up her tired old lap flounder, it doesn’t give her the right to suck and fuck every Tom, Dick and Harry along the entire Northwest corridor.  Whether she’s a sex addict or you’re limp-dicked half-whit, you may consider getting an HIV test, and don't forget to test your kids DNA to see if they are your kids or some unknown hump-happy wife fucker’s kids. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com