Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this ball-less husband?

DEAR MIKE CARES: Last week my wife and I were at a local function. During intermission, a man walked up behind my wife and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up, shouted "George!", jumped out of her chair and was all over him, fondling his face and head. I had to turn away, but our friends continued to watch as the two carried on. She claims it was not inappropriate behavior and that I am just jealous. Is this really a married woman's normal behavior? -- WOUNDED IN MISSOURI

DEAR WOUNDED IN MISSOURI: I don’t know what “fondling his face and head” means, but I got a boner so it’s probably not appropriate.  The bottom line is that you have to keep that cock-yearning whore of a wife in check, if you give her an inch now, she’ll take some man’s eight inches later.  If she is not busy gangbanging the rest of her “old friends,” you should have a talk with her. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com