Dear Mike Cares what advice would you give this cradle robbing geriatric?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I'm a 73-year-old who has lost two wives to cancer. My last wife died two years ago, so I moved back to my birthplace to be closer to family. I met a wonderful 27-year-old woman on a dating site, and I have become smitten. I can see in her eyes that she feels the same way about me. Neither of us seems to care what other people think about the age difference. I guess my question is, am I a stupid old man for thinking about taking the next step and asking her to marry me? My family knows I'm dating a 27-year-old, and no one has said anything about it, but I have a feeling her parents might object to the age difference. I'm older than they are. I need an outside opinion so I know if I'm doing the right thing. -- OVER THE MOON IN OHIO

DEAR OVER THE MOON IN OHIO: My advice to any 73-year-old banging a 27-year-old is to keep at it until your sack gravy runs dry or you die midway between your final orgasm and her latest text to her 25-year-old boyfriend. I wouldn’t suggest marriage unless the only reason she is spreading her legs is because you’re spreading your cash, which society calls a cash for gash situation.  I say fuck it, have her sign a prenup and don’t invite her parents. Shit, by the time her seven year itch starts you won’t care, you will be 80 and more worried about diapers, dentures and dementia. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com