Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this dopey broad? *case of the sex lunch

DEAR MIKE CARES: I have known my husband for 10 years. We have been married for four. We love each other very much, but I did something that has caused him to no longer trust me, and he won't forgive me. I went to a pub while my husband was at a class. I told him I was going to the pub and he was fine with it. We know everybody who works there very well.

The problem is, a nice man sat down a seat away from me and we started talking about all kinds of stuff. At the end of the evening, we exchanged phone numbers. He texted me a week later wanting to know if I could meet him for lunch. I said yes -- big mistake -- but we didn't meet because I realized it would be wrong. My husband saw his text on my phone, and he is upset and angry. He hasn't spoken to me since. It's been almost a week. He said he can no longer trust me, and he won't accept my apologies or forgive me. What can I do? -- LOSING LOVE IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR LOSING LOVE IN CALIFORNIA: Men are basically caveman with cars and bank accounts, and world-class level insecurity. As such, this is what your husband really thinks took place: my whore wife went out drinking and met some douchebag who wants to bang her silly.  The piece of shit even texted her to so they could meet “for lunch,” which is guy talk for getting her sauced up and convincing her they should go to a motel.  My cunt wife said yes, but now that I caught her from the text she’s all like “I made a mistake, I would have never gone, it was wrong, etc.”  Now it is time for you to do what females do best, turn the whole thing around on him, figure out a way to blame his immaturity and insecurity on his overreaction, and in a week or so he will be begging to make things right, but you won’t let him, will you?  Atta girl! Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com