Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this Dr. No Thanks?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I'm engaged to a beautiful woman from a foreign country. She's a divorcee, and her 19-year-old son is doing well in college. She essentially raised him herself. Because of some spectrum disorder and ADHD symptoms, her son was apparently a handful. I am healthy, have multiple advanced degrees (including an M.D. and a Ph.D.), and have enjoyed a successful and lucrative career. I have raised six happy, healthy and independent children. I've worked very hard and have a substantial bankroll.

My concern is that she tends to treat me like she might treat her son. She asks me if I'm hungry, thirsty, tired if I need anything. I don't think she does it maliciously. I think she genuinely cares for me and is expressing her love with these matronly concerns.

I have suggested repeatedly that she doesn't need to always ask what I need if I am hungry or need a sweater -- I'm an adult and have successfully figured out those things for a very long time.  She has much less money than I do, and I help to support her. But I cannot continue to tolerate her maternalistic attitude. I have told her several times that I need a lover, not a mother, but it doesn't seem to penetrate. How can I get this woman whom I love to treat me as an adult and not to question my mature decisions? -- NOBODY'S CHILD IN NEW YORK

DEAR NOBODY’S CHILD IN NEW YORK: Well Doctor, Doctor, MD, how come a guy like you with more degrees than a thermometer is seeking advice from a sarcastic half-wit like me?   You have a beautiful foreign I Dream of Jeannie type that focuses all of her attention on you, and this is a problem? Maybe you would prefer an American made princess who will immediately put a dent into your “substantial bankroll,” put on 50 lbs. two years after the marriage, forget what a blow job is and start complaining about everything from the way you chew your food to how often your “six happy, healthy and independent children” visit. I say stop your crying, accept this gift from the Gods of Beaver, sit back in your Lazy Boy and tolerate the shit out of her “maternalistic attitude” which is guaranteed to include fetching your martini, slippers, and TV remote all while preparing your supper.  Oh, and don’t forget about the blow jobs, or do they bother you too?  Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com