Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this grieving gash-hound?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I lost my wife of 20 years four months ago after a prolonged illness. I retired at 62 and became her primary caretaker. The job of caretaker is endless and stressful, and yet rewarding. A female friend of many years ("Dinah") came to the memorial. I grieved, attended Grief Share and read articles about grief. I experience grief every day and will for my whole life. Recently, Dinah and I began spending time together, including worship. For clarification, we have never been completely intimate and won't be until our wedding night (if that ever happens). The difficulty is how my late wife's family have reacted; they are real country folk and don’t understand. They are becoming more and more distant. I don't feel I'm doing anything wrong. They have said, "You should wait for at least a year." My financial planner and I spoke about not making any major financial decisions for a while, but what is this "one year" thing? -- READY IN TENNESSEE

DEAR READY IN TENNESSEE:  First of all, your late wife’s family should be on their knees thanking your for caring for their daughter rather than insisting there is some imaginary timeline between burying your wife and burying your face in new pussy.  Who cares if they are becoming distant, you should be happy you are finally free from your mother-in-law and the rest of those hillbilly half-wits.  I agree with your financial planner, don’t plan on spending money, just plan on spending your newfound freedom “worshiping” Dinah until your “grief” stricken dick falls off. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com