Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this "lady killer?"

DEAR MIKE CARES: I'm a 68-year-old married man with no close friends. I worked for 35 years in my family-owned bar and restaurant, until they lost it. After that, I worked as an assistant manager in a few fast-food places, then as an assistant manager in a major pharmacy.

At 65, after three knee surgeries and a foot fusion, I retired from working full time. I now work part time for a physical therapy center, mostly to keep busy and make a few bucks. I have no hobbies or major interests. I have a few health issues, which are under control.

I feel lonely most of the time. I know a lot of people and get along with people -- I just feel lonely. I have two sons I'm very proud of who have families of their own, but they're busy with their lives. I have no one to talk to who won't judge me for feeling the way I do. Can you give me any direction of where to turn? -- A BIT LONELY IN THE EAST

DEAR A BIT LONELY IN THE EAST: You said you are married, but no mention of your wife.  I guess the real questions is, what did you do with your wife’s body? If you turn yourself in, you will meet so many new people you will never be lonely again. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com