Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this maternal cover-up artist?

DEAR MIKE CARES: My father's wife, "Carole," loves to thrift-shop. She enjoys hunting for a good deal, particularly if she can find things for our 5-year-old daughter, "Liana." It's sweet how excited she gets when she brings over a pile of new clothes. The problem is, Carole has really different taste than my husband and I do, and most of her purchases aren't appropriate for a little girl to be wearing. (I'm talking hot pants, tiny tank tops, sequin midriff shirts and leopard miniskirts.) These outfits don't pass the school dress code or the Mama dress code. We have told Liana she can wear these things only at home and made a "dress up" box for them. She's OK with that, but I'm not sure what to tell Carole when she asks why Liana isn't wearing her new clothes. Several times, I've had to intervene when she's told our daughter to change into the things she's brought before we go out. I've said things like, "We like Liana to be more covered up," but it's like Carole can't hear me.

How can I spare Carole's feelings while enforcing our standards? This isn't something I'm going to budge on. -- MODEST MAMA IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR MODEST MAMA IN THE MIDWEST: Why would you want to spare you father’s lowbrow thrift store wife’s feelings; she’s not you mother and she is not Liana’s grandma? If this hippy/dippy-step monster wants to dress your little daughter like a porn star in a 1970s biker gang-bang film, it’s up to you to make sure it doesn’t happen again. My advice is act now and act fast before StepGranny’s obscenity journey takes your 5 year old to the rec center pool wearing a thrifty bikini thong and a cheap pair of ‘chase me fuck me heels.’ Remember, on the subject of obscenity and pornography, it was a Supreme Court justice that stated that he could not define it, but knew it when he saw it. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com