Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this pool party pooper?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I have two granddaughters and four grandsons. My granddaughters, ages 19 and 20, wear thong bikinis at family swim events in front of their dad, grandpa, uncles and cousins. I believe this is incredibly inappropriate. I'm embarrassed and I don't want to attend swim parties with the family anymore. I've told my son my feelings, and he said he leaves the dress code up to his wife. Should I just stay away from family swim parties? -- APPALLED IN INDIANA

DEAR APPALLED IN INDIANA:  My man-question is how smoking hot are these little pool-whores and can you send pics?  Oh well, back to reality.  The only solution is to equal out the appalling equation, that’s right grandma, you need to show up at the next swim party in your own thong bikini and let those saggy tits and your granny gash-ass make a real splash, hopefully no one will puke in the pool.   Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com