Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this pornless wonder?

DEAR MIKE CARES: About eight months ago, I stumbled on my husband watching online porn. He admitted to habitual use but said it was just a stress reliever and he would stop viewing it. Meanwhile, I am plagued by feelings of not being enough for him, mainly before or during sex but also at random times of the day and night. I am a small-breasted woman, and I can't stop thinking that he has seen beautiful bodies that are much more of a turn-on than mine. I am ashamed of how I look and no longer want him to see me naked. This was never a problem before, but now it's a constant feeling of inadequacy. I'm also not sure he has stopped, but I realize there's no way for me to know that, so I'm struggling with trust. Is there anything I can do to stop thinking about this and build back some self-confidence? -- CAN'T COMPARE IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CAN’T COMPARE IN THE SOUTH: It’s never a good idea to try and “keep up with the Jones’,” especially when they are 20-year-old porn stars with bodies from hell and the ability to suck a golf ball through a mile of garden hose. Keep in mind that most men are so fucked up sexually that only half of them prefer the standard “beautiful body” chicks that turn them on, the other half like everything from lesbian nuns to granny fuckers, to underage Taiwanese chicks with tri-colored dicks. Porn delivers fantasies through the variety of sex that Mr. Johnson can’t always get at home, but thankfully when he fantasizes about an insecure wife with small breasts struggling with feelings of inadequacy he can “relieve his stress” on you, assuming he has turned off the lights. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com