Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this rocking granny?

DEAR MIKE CARES: I have been having a friend-with-benefits relationship with a man I'll call "Gene." We are both in our 80s. He lives an hour away, and we see each other once a month. Gene is married, but his wife is disabled, and their relationship has deteriorated. We used to collect rocks together in a club and he was very lonely when I met him. Gene feels responsible for his wife and will never leave her, which is fine with me. I am not interested in a full-time boyfriend, and Gene is not the first man I have had from our rock collecting club. My issue is, if my two adult children found out about this, they would be very judgmental. I know it would damage my relationship with them. On the other hand, I don't want to live my life on their terms. What do you think of all this? -- HAPPY, BUT WORRIED, IN FLORIDA

DEAR HAPPY, BUT WORRIED, IN FLORIDA: So, you think it’s ok to carry on a fuck-buddy relationship with a married man while his drooling wheelchair bound wife sits at home in a full diaper, and you’re worried that your adult children will be judgmental?  That’s like Jeffrey Dahmer worried about how much his electric bill will increase if he buys a larger refrigerator.  My advice is to end your relationship with the “responsible” husband, close down that geriatric windsock of a vagina and start acting like a nice grandma not a dried-up homewrecker your kids won’t approve of.  Try less cocks and more rocks. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com