Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this tween-weaning half mom?

DEAR MIKE CARES: My 12-year-old daughter has a girlfriend she's been "dating" for about eight months. I assume they're not sexually active, and they only see each other socially a couple of weekend days every month, but they do FaceTime with each other every day. From what I can gather, they are also attached at the hip during school hours.

My concern is the length of this relationship. I remember when I was their age I had a crush on a different boy practically every week, and boyfriends didn't last long. Is it healthy for her to be in such a serious relationship? She's a very social person, has lots of friends. Part of me wishes they would break up so she can experience other relationships and not be tied down at such a young age. What do you think? -- TWEEN'S MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR TWEEN’S MOM IN MASSACHUSETTS: I thought only priests dated 12 year olds.  But seriously folks, what the fuck are you even talking about, why on earth would you allow a 12-year-old to spend her free time experimenting in some half-assed pre-teen lesbian lick-fest rather than guiding her into piano, soccer or the honor society?  Does the young labia lover have a father figure or does she have to count on your dim witted approach to raising kids? Either way it is definitely time to step in as a parent and put her on the straight and narrow path to a normal life which should include less chapstick and more homework. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com