Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give two twats and a child?

DEAR MIKE CARES: We adopted our daughter, "Opal," at the age of 2. She is 6 now. Opal lived with us off and on as a newborn, but by age 1, she lived permanently with us. We live in a small community, so everyone knows everyone. Opal lived with her biological mom prior to adoption. We tried to allow interaction between them with certain rules in place. However, Opal was recently permitted to spend two hours with her biological mother at a party for a sibling. Opal asked to come back home, so she was dropped off. I later found out her bio mom told her she gave birth to her so she is her real mother. We never hid the adoption from Opal. We speak about it in a way that isn't negative or hurtful. Since this happened, Opal has reverted to being clingy and wakes up with that conversation on her mind. How do I address this with her bio mom and with our daughter? -- REALLY MOM IN KENTUCKY

DEAR REALLY MOM IN KENTUCKY: The moment you “permitted” Opal to spend time with her biological mom you opened a can of worms, the biggest worm in the can is the biological mom, also known as a stupid cunt who has no understanding of how to handle the situation you put her in. The second biggest worm in the can is you, also a stupid cunt for pimping out little Opal at what should have been a nice family event. My advice would be to lie to Opal and tell her that her biological mother died of stupidity, and then move to Guam. Or, better yet, before Opal gets hooked on drugs and gang-bangs, give Opal back, you have no idea how to raise a child, just tell her that her real mother loves her more than you do, it will have the same effect on her as what you have already done to her. Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) Email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com