Dear Mike Cares, what's up with the Taylor/Travis hype?

DEAR MIKE CARES: What is your opinion on the Taylor Swift / Travis Kelce engagement, and why is the whole world excited about this? CURIOUS IN COLUMBUS

DEAR CURIOUS IN COLUMBUS: The media has referred to them as American Royalty, which was designated to Meghan Markle and Prince Harry until she was outed as black and exiled to Canada, but I digress. I don’t have a solid opinion, as her main audience is made up of blossoming teenage girls, tri-sexual Thai boys, her father/lover and anyone forced to see her cheering at a Chiefs game.  I do know that Taylor Swift sells a lot of records, and I believe holds the record for number of songs based on ex-lovers, so if Travis doesn’t mind getting blowjobs from that horse-tooth princess for a few years he might contribute to a few songs, and if she is lucky, the basis for the “Divorce Tour,” I’m thinking 2028! Good Luck and Keep in Touch! Dear Mike Cares is also on X, Instagram and Facebook (whatever they are.) For more honest advice, email me your stupid questions at DearMikeCares@gmail.com