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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this ball-busting future divorcee?
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: I just turned 29. My partner, "Jeremy," and I have been together for six years and have talked about getting engaged. He...
Dec 9, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this Cunt-Chocula?
DEAR MIKE CARES: My husband and I have been married for 15 years. He made a resolution to go on a diet and cut out sweets. However, I...
Dec 2, 20241 min read
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If you hear any of these at Thanksgiving your family is more dysfunctional than you think...
"The only dark meat P-Diddy will be getting this year will be from his cell mate." "Now that bitcoin hit $95k I feel a little better...
Nov 28, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this father of a bitch-boy?
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: My son and his wife have been married for three years and have an 8-month-old son. She stays home to care for the baby....
Nov 25, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this sad-sack-sibling?
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: What can I buy for Christmas for my brother who is terminally ill with cancer? Nothing seems right -- not music, books...
Nov 23, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this romance seeking half-dead geezer?
DEAR MIKE CARES: I am elderly and stuck in a miserable marriage. The romance is long gone. We live as roommates. If I were to die...
Nov 13, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this gash slinging cock worshiper?
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: I'm a woman in my early 20s, and I have been dating my man for two years. I love him dearly and want to spend the rest...
Nov 12, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this dateless planner?
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: I have been married for 17 years to a good man with many great attributes. However, our relationship lacks connection....
Nov 11, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this reluctant beaver sharer?
DEARÂ ABBY: I'm in an open relationship with my partner. We both enjoy hooking up with other people, but only if we agree on the person....
Nov 6, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice do you have for this chronically clueless sister?
DEAR MIKE CARES: My brother lost his wife of 30-plus years to COVID. Because we live several states apart and I have significant chronic...
Sep 30, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this cheating beaver-slinger?
DEAR MIKE CARES: A close male friend, "Will," ended our friendship without warning. I didn't know he had such strong feelings about my...
Sep 12, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this Canadian lottery winner?
DEAR MIKE CARES: For the entirety of our 15-year relationship, my wife has never listened to me. It's literally the only thing I've ever...
Sep 11, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this needling nitwit?
DEAR MIKE CARES: Â I've been seeing "Pete" for eight months. He has been divorced for the last 15 years. He has two grown children and...
Sep 6, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this madame ovary?
DEAR MIKE CARES: I am a 37-year-old woman with a very supportive husband. I love him dearly, but I have some concerns. We have no...
Sep 5, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this parasitic whine maker?
DEAR MIKE CARES: I recently scheduled a last-minute consultation with my doctor that might result in surgery. My husband has a meeting...
Aug 30, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this egg wielding nit-wit?
DEAR MIKE CARES: My husband and I have been married for two years, together for five. He's a wonderful man I love dearly. I always felt...
Aug 26, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this Texas Twink?
DEAR MIKE CARES: I'm a single man, and have been for 15 years. A year ago, I met a guy, "Josh," and we fell in love. He lived 240 miles...
Aug 21, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this Hen in this Fox house?
DEAR MIKE CARES: My husband of 25 years and I have become political opposites over the past several years. We watch different news...
Aug 18, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give these bi-hating parents?
DEAR MIKE CARES: Three days before my daughter "Ginger's" wedding, her fiance called to announce that he could not marry her because...
Aug 16, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give Mary Menopause?
DEAR MIKE CARES: My boyfriend is 18 years younger than I am. Our relationship hasn't been perfect, but I love him to death....
Aug 10, 20242 min read
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