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Dear Mike Cares, what advice would you give this blossoming twat-zilla?
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: My niece, who is engaged, is blossoming into a full-fledged bridezilla. She has upset her mother so deeply that she may...
Mar 1, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this question? *case of the brain-dead Zen mother
DEARÂ MIKE CARES: My sister has become very interested in Zen meditation. I'm afraid she has become obsessed with it. She spent a week at...
Feb 27, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Fucktard's question? *case of the tail wagging the wife
DEAR MIKE CARES: My husband and I have been together almost 20 years. I used to be happy in our relationship, but over the last year or...
Feb 26, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the holiday meal martyr.
DEARÂ ABBY: My husband and I have been married three years, and we generally trade off spending holidays with each of our families....
Feb 25, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the
DEAR ABBY: I have a friend I've known for 30 years. We have shared many good times together and feel like family. The problem is, she...
Feb 24, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the 31 states
DEARÂ ABBY: After 17 years of marriage, I learned, to my dismay, that when he was 22, my husband had a long-term relationship with a...
Feb 18, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the Krazy kid.
DEAR ABBY: I host holiday meals for my out-of-town family. During the last one, my cousin's 5-year-old son ran up and down the upstairs...
Feb 17, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the slipper shoppers
DEAR ABBY: I am 4'11" and wear a size 5 shoe. Yesterday, my husband and I went to a department store to buy a pair of slippers for him...
Feb 15, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the nut-job side piece
DEARÂ ABBY: I have been involved with a married man for the last five years. He lied to me about his status. He told me that a woman he'd...
Feb 13, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the abusive Doritos lover
DEAR ABBY: My adult son suffered a nervous breakdown a couple of years ago. Ever since, he has been blaming me for all his problems. It...
Feb 1, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the step-bully
DEAR ABBY: I recently married, and my 19-year-old son and I moved in with my new husband. My son works full time and goes to school part...
Jan 27, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the high school whore.
DEAR ABBY: After 35 years, I recently ran into my first love, "Cliff." His sister lost her son, and I went to the wake. She and I were...
Jan 16, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the chatty kathy
DEARÂ ABBY: I work nine hours a day in a mental health clinic talking to the clients and doing billing and collections among many other...
Jan 13, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby *case of the unfaithful fan
DEAR ABBY: Do you think Dear Mike Cares is more qualified to answer your questions, and are you jealous of his success? -TRYING TO REMAIN...
Jan 12, 20241 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the possible granny-cide
DEAR ABBY: My grandmother and I have lived together for the past 22 years. She raised me from the age of 3. We used to be best friends....
Jan 10, 202452 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the clueless johnson waver
DEARÂ ABBY: I am a single man in good health. I'm intelligent, friendly, funny and have been told by more than one woman that I don't look...
Jan 9, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the tool bearing fool
DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend is the loveliest, smartest, most compassionate and supportive person I know. We have been together for a year...
Jan 8, 20242 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the loyal and sloppy
DEARÂ ABBY: I am a 40-plus-year-old single male. I recently started hanging out with one of my friend "Tom's" ex-girlfriends. It is now...
Jan 7, 20241 min read
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Top 10 things you will hear at this year's Dear Mike Cares Christmas dinner table.
10. I heard father O'Brien is embracing diversity by making the the genderfluid alter boy tickle his ballsack with his "wicked tongue."...
Dec 22, 20231 min read
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Dear Mike Cares, how would you answer this Dear Abby? *case of the wandering husband
DEAR ABBY: My husband is desperate for women's attention, and I'm sure he'd cheat on me the instant he had the chance. We have been...
Dec 20, 20232 min read
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